Month: July 2018

On the rebound

Have you ever been on a rebound relationship? 

You might be considered one when you get involved with someone who had just ended a previous relationship. When someone is just rebounding, most probably they only needed an emotional attachment, someone to confide with during the process of recovering from heartaches and they usually mistake this emotional connection to new-love.

Either way, being on the receiving end of this kind of relationship is definitely an extreme emotional torture. More often, you are likely to be in the uncomfortable position competing with the remains of the past relationship and wondering if the new relationship is enough to provide fulfillment. In addition to that, you are more likely to take place of what is only left behind, you are basically there to mitigate the hurt, the pain, you are just an outlet, or cover up, which is a very awful feeling.

How does it feel to be one?

1. You never get the confidence and assurance of their Love.

2. You see the difference in attitude and affection that is totally different from how they treat you compared to how they were on the previous one.

3. You see them flare-up fast by anything related to their past, a name, a place, a situation, and even someone else’s stories similar to them hurt them still.

4. The amount of effort is different for you.

It’s really very awful to be in that situation, really, You may have the tendency to lose your confidence and label yourself as the “covering hole.”

It’s really hard to dig inside the person who has been deeply hurt. A person in this situation should get over the previous feeling before jumping to a new one.

But as unfair they might say, focusing on someone new can help a person recover from a break-up. This does not necessarily mean that the new relationship is valued less than the previous one. In fact, the new relationship can prove to have far greater worth than the previous relationship since it is through the comparison of need satisfaction that fulfillment is judged. The time between relationships is not necessary for psychological well-being. People need connection, and moving on can help you get over what has to be left behind…

MOVIE SPOILERS, HAHA!

Since RJ is on vacay, I have a lot of free time these days after work just lying idle at home watching online movies.

And I’m not saying I was bored because definitely not. I was always looking forward to my alone-time every evening, lying on the bed with a bag of chips or anything to munch, dim lights, under my blanket, streaming movies online.

Just sad that every movie I picked to watch always turned out to be a good  Lovestory with a sad ending. 

But I love those!

To name a few,  Here’s the best I’ve seen: 

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Continue reading “MOVIE SPOILERS, HAHA!”

When you Lose yourself

Almost three years ago, after everything I’ve been through, I came one morning in the office and while looking at the pile of papers I have to work on, I suddenly realized a few things. And this is what I exactly wrote;

1. I felt rejected.

2. I enjoyed too much.

3. So many things undone.

4. Time to get serious.

 * I felt rejected in the sense that I’m trying my hard damned best to fit in the world that I do not belong…and literally turned myself to someone that isn’t me.

* I enjoyed too much of a little bit of everything. Enjoyed my life I forgot the real goal, my purpose, and priorities in life. I settled for less. I settled for an instant. Something that is within my reach. Then I ended up with nothing.

As I crossed the path of life,  I have met and interacted with different kinds of people. From short to long relationships. From something just out of my plain curiosity to something I just wanna try, from things I wanna try out of stupidity, or out of pity, to something that has only become a challenge to me.

I didn’t go in a straight line direct to my destination but I went left and right turn, crossed every corner to corners, got tired of the long way, made a U-turn and came back, and returned…and so on, my journey became longer and longer than expected.

* And left so many things undone. I have failed to follow my timetable. I have failed to do what I’m supposed to be done.

I remember my 2011 Birthday with  AG Family while blowing the cake, I whispered these words as my wish;

FAMILY

CAREER

LIFE

RELATIONSHIP

FUTURE

– as my deep-set priorities. But unfortunately, out of bad-luck or series of wrong decisions, I never fulfill some of them like the way I wanted to be accordingly.

* Time to get serious. Serious in the sense that I should stay away from the things that only challenge me even though I won’t get any benefit from it. Be with the right company.

BECAUSE BAD COMPANY CORRUPTS GOOD MIND.

But I never said, Im that good… (but I’m not bad either), just be with the right people. Enjoy but enjoy with limitations.

End of Blog.

“ You may wake up one day and find you don’t recognize the person you see in the mirror. Or sometimes, it happens gradually, day by day, you can feel yourself growing more distant from who you really are.

You may lose interest in the things you used to love, or you may find yourself utilizing other interests. You may find yourself feeling more fearless than ever before, or all you may want to do is hide away until these feelings pass.

You may want to live on the wild side for a while, going out and partying. Or, you may wish for your blankets to swallow you whole, until you disappear into the darkness.

You may feel as though you can’t fully grasp anything: the thoughts that swirl around in your brain or the emotions that tug at your heart. You may feel like things are fleeting: one second you’re sad, the next you’re super energetic.

You may feel these highs and lows more intensely than ever before. You may feel a little bit crazy, or like you can’t control anything anymore. You might start to wonder why you are the way you are, or why you’re doing the things you do.

And the truth is: you don’t really have a solid answer. You’re simply floating: outside of yourself, above the world, you were once apart of.

You’re here, but you’re not really here anymore. It’s almost as if your body decided to pack up and move on but no one told your mind yet.

Or perhaps it’s the other way around for you. Maybe you’re so tired that you can’t even imagine moving your body, but you can’t shut your mind off.

Or maybe you don’t feel anything at all. Maybe you’re numb, and you’ve gotten used to the idea of numbness. Of not feeling or thinking or doing.

Or maybe you have changed so much that you’re used to this new lifestyle. That newness can be addicting, as can the idea of rebelling against yourself. Leading a new life or pretending to be someone you’re not can really be intoxicating since it allows you to escape. Escape from your issues or run away from the world for a bit.

And who could blame you? Sometimes it’s easier to pretend not to care or put up a wall to block everything out. But deep down, you care too much and feel too deeply.

It’s harder for you because you feel these things so intensely and that pain can be so extreme that it hurts you all the way down to your soul.

You might feel like you don’t know up from down or that you don’t know which way is right. You may feel like time is going to slow or slip away. You might be on an emotional rollercoaster or feel uninspired and unmotivated.

All of this is completely normal. I can’t give you a play-by-play for how your life is going to go from here on out, but what I can say is that things do change and things will get better.

Hang on and take it easy. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing the best you can right now.

And that is enough, I promise you.”

How to cope up with break ups

Either a week long, a  month-long,  or a year-long relationship you were into, definitely, breakups is a terrible feeling and truly a heartache. Most probably, it will not only leave you devastated at that particular time, but it could also make you physically ill.

Even if the relationship wasn’t that great, you will still find yourself pondering to what went wrong, whose fault, what could have happened if you’ve done differently and so on and so forth.

Painful breakups may cloud your rational thinking. The first thing you would find very hard to tolerate is the grieving period. The beginning. The time when you have to start from scratch.That no matter how much you have already accepted your fate, there is still the grieving period, the abandonment period, the feelings of rejection, the feeling of not being good enough, the steps on how to start from being WE to being ME.

How could we cope up with breakups? Whether you initiated the breaking up or you were abandoned first, the most important thing is to treat yourself well during this period.

We all know that “Time heal all wounds”, but don’t ever forget that before you reach that point of being already moved-on, there is something we call,  a time-in-between that is RIGHT NOW. The time when you get to drown yourself in pity trying to figure out what went wrong and there’s nothing wrong with that.

You cannot speed up the process but at least, you have to consider some useful beginner-steps on how and where to start;

Write your thoughts about it. Write a lot about your pain. About your agony. Pain demands to be felt as the old cliche says. Feel it. Deal with it. Enjoy it. Until you no longer care.

Talk about it. having someone to cry with is better than crying alone in the middle of the night. If you want to sit, cry, ponder or whatever,  do it. Talking about it with your friends and feel bad about yourself is a great way to overcome it.

Be active. Slowly try to be active and go on daily exercises. It will slowly boost your mood and lower your stress level. A good functioning mind can make you think better.

Improve yourself and look better. Work a little harder on your physical looks. Get your hair trimmed, color a bit, a little facial,  treat yourself to a nice massage. 

Eat, but do not overeat, Do not make extra eating habits as a way to cope up with a break-up. It will definitely not work out. 

Travel and explore. But if you have no means to splurge on costly traveling, there’s a lot of alternatives to do. Travel with a minimum cost. Like going out in the woods, mountains, picnics, long walks,  beaches nearby.

Or Walk and explore! –> Way better than anything else. Enjoy some quality time alone. Look around. Take a lot of pictures. Do the thing that scares you. I love it!

Think and focus on all the good qualities you have. Rediscover yourself! You are way better than anyone else. Turn your loss to a learning lesson. Be positive. Have a good outlook on life. Do little things that make you feel good. Even the simplest thing. Laugh a lot. Give yourself a break!

Will not guarantee a fast recovery for these, but sure it will help. It’s really acceptable to drown yourself in pity for days, or weeks or months, but not for so long.

Coz sooner or later, a friend who’s always there to listen will eventually get pissed-off the same old story. 

So try to help your self. Give yourself the power to control your thoughts and your feelings over the time, because nothing stays the same forever, no pain will be there for the rest of your life, you will soon get over it.

You will do just fine…don’t worry.